


The Break-Up Plan

by kryptonianmenace



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 05:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19222111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonianmenace/pseuds/kryptonianmenace
Summary: Dee Reynolds is sick of her mother and brother ragging on her for just about everything, so she decides a boyfriend will help prove them wrong. The day Dennis comes home whining about getting high and kissing a boy, only to get rejected, Dee realizes the perfect way to get back at him.---Dee and Mac fake date.





	The Break-Up Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I will most likely not finish this, I just wanted to share the first chapter because I amused myself. If you want to write a fic based on this AU or add on to what I've written, go for it, just let me know please! My notes on this AU are at the end.

“Are you Ronnie?”

Mac looked up from the grass he was playing with, his focus a little hazy from the last of weed. He was sprawled on his stomach, backpack off to the side of him. Charlie’s backpack was next to his. The other boy was off using the bathroom, or at least that’s what Mac vaguely remembered him saying, so it was just him under the bleachers.

The fact that Mac was only just now noticing the girl was a sure sign that he was stuck in his own mind because the back brace she wore was metal and showed obvious signs that it hadn’t been oiled to stop the creaking sounds in quite a while. Despite the metal surrounding her, she gave off a strong aura of intimidation with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows cocked in judgement.

“Yeah, the fuck do you want?” Mac asked, propping himself up on his elbows. “If you’re here for a deal, I just used up the last of my stash. I’ll have more tomorrow.”

“Ugh, you’re the guy my brother tried to kiss? What does he even see in you? If he’s gonna be gay, he should at least have better taste,” she said with a scoff.

She slowly lowered herself to sit cross-legged on the ground as Mac blanched and shot up into a sitting position.

“Who are you and what the hell do you think you’re talking about?” he snapped, leaning forward to grab her brace.

Rolling her eyes, she slapped his hand away. “Relax. I’m Dee. Dennis is my brother and he won’t stop whining about how he got high and tried to kiss you.”

“Stop saying that! It— I’m not— What do you want?” Mac stammered out, running a hand through his hair and glancing around in panic.

Humming thoughtfully, Dee leaned forward and gave him a wicked grin. “I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I can piss Dennis off and make my mom stop making comments about my love life.”

Mouth gaping in shock, Mac blinked rapidly at her as his mind struggled to process what she said.

“We can talk details when you’re not high, but right now I need a yes or no,” Dee said.

Mac was in the middle of stammering out a response when he was interrupted by a body flopping down next to him.

“Hey man,” Charlie said. “Who’s this?”

“Uh,” Mac said, glancing between Charlie and Dee. “This is Dee. She’s, uh. She’s my girlfriend.”

Charlie’s eyes went wide. “Woah, you got a girlfriend when I went to the bathroom? How long was I gone?”

Dee laughed. “We already sort of knew each other,” she lied. “I met him through Dennis, my brother. We only just now made things official.”

* * *

 

“Ok, ok,” Mac said, sprawling on the grass next to Dee.

Dee sat next to him, using both her own backpack and Mac’s to lean against, her brace edging uncomfortably into her.

“Ok, what?” she asked.

“Charlie’s gone now, so like. What’s the plan?” Mac asked.

“Plan for what?” Dee asked, letting out a soft chuckle. “We’re not actually dating.”

“No, yeah, I know,” Mac said. “But we’re not gonna date for forever, you know? We need a break-up plan.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right,” Dee said, sitting up in excitement. “Ok, it’s gotta be like. A good break-up.”

“Good like dramatic?” Mac asked.

“No, no, like,” Dee paused as she collected her thoughts. “I can’t have my family thinking I got dumped, but you won’t want to be the dumpee either.”

Mac jolted upward, slapping his knee. “I got it!”

“What?”

Mac grinned and gestured wildly towards Dee’s brace. “We say our sex was so phenomenal that your doctor said we had to stop because we were messing up the healing process for your scoliosis.”

There was a long moment of silence as Dee processed the suggestion. “Oh my god, that's fucking genius,” she finally said.

“God, we’re gonna make such a great fake couple, we’re so good at this already,” Mac said as he flopped back to the ground.

Dee held out a hand for a high five and Mac slapped it with enthusiasm. “Hell yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- dennis kisses mac while high and mac freaks the fuck out  
> \- barbara is constantly telling dee that no one would ever love her and that no one ever will and dennis feeds into this cos hes a mommys boy  
> \- dennis bitches about the kiss with mac so dee knows  
> \- dee convinces mac to fake date her to get back at barbara and dennis  
> \- dee and charlie get free weed from mac mainly because hes mad at dennis  
> \- dennis dates charlie to get back at mac (dates him for real cos he thinks dee and mac are for real)


End file.
